fairness.? BULLSHIT
7:14 PM
May Peace Be Upon to UNBIASED PEOPLE! yeap, u see tht right. peace to UNBIASED ppl. unfair ppl, insha allah, u cn go to hell. *shrug* its gonna b harsh. may Allah forgives me. but i didnt verbalised it. m just typing it here. Allah, forgive me.remember i once blogged bout reshuffling the class and the summarised meeting.?yeap, this is wad happen today. during the "official" class meeting.thinking bout it. i ws wondering if they will even hav a class barbeque/ gatherings like they use to last yr.hmm.s u cn see, fad is fcking angry today. yeap she fcking is.i didnt attend the class meeting today a i ws fcking sick.as early as fcking 5 this morning!-.- vomiting, fainting spells etc. so i skipped ma fcking tut. n aft tut, they hv a fcking cls meeting. or shall i say a fcking class """""""DISCUSSION"""""" yeap. WITH fcking inverted commas. kos frm the fcking sound of it,its more like fcking orders! they fcking discuss among them n fcking tell us wad to fcking do! this story is based frm WHAT I FCKING HEAR FRM VARIETY OF PPL. SO MA THOUGHTS IS GONNA FCKING BASED ON THT. shall i type their name.? hmm. i shall fcking LABEL them..hmm -ladyBOSS1 -ladyBOSS2 -ladyBOSS3 these ladyBOSSES. they fcking decide to fcking reshuffle the fcking class JUST because THEY are fcking not happy with THEIR fcking grp. yeap. n nw just bcoz of them, the whole class is fcking affected. fcking selfish.?thts exactly wad i AM thinking right nw.hmm.*shrug* n nw.? thr aint peace in class.THANKS TO U GUYS LA. most of em fcking disagrees with this "crap". but the bosses dont care.all they care bout is THEIR fcking thoughts, feelings. wad bout ours.? i know u guys are fcking smart bunch, but tht doesnt mean we dont hv the fcking rights right.? EVERYBODY IS FCKING EQUAL! why must we fcking listen to u.? agree to ur fcking suggestions.? why nt we fcking suggest who we want to be fcking with.? even one of the china gerls ask tht. n boss1 just fcking kept quiet.? why.? guilty.? or u felt fcking proud.? boss3:"tht is ur own problem" our own problem? WTF?! then. u hv fcking prob with ur fcking grp right nw..tht is UR fcking prob.u dont hv to fcking affect the fcking cls! the outcome is fcking same as what i thought. the 4 grps: -nazira -adeline -rachel -jess -huijie -sharvvani -mushi -sandhya -diana -eugene -jiayin -sze en -xiao xin(spell) -rui jie -hu xin n nw.. presenting the-according-to-them-FREELOADERS: *drumroll* -ME -LUQMAN -NANA -YIQING -FATIN i ws fcking pissed n still am right nw. u told us, u wanna fcking shuffle the clas to be fcking FAIR. i repeat.... to be fcking fair. n u call this fcking fair.?dont u even dare to say "the world hs never been fair" kos thts the world. not u, not me, not us, not the class. mayb to u.. kos U MANAGE TO CHOSE UR PPL. n the leftovers.? u fcking anyhw divide em.? i tell u, the 1st 2 grp, fcking chose their ppl. n the last 2, including me.. we are arranged according to THEM!! what are we.? ur fcking toys.? did u EVEN FCKING DISCUSSED with us like u said.. *mocking* class DISCUSSION class discussion...BULLSHIT.! let us choose our ppl oso! unfair!unfair! DAMN! i wsnt thr. i wld hv fcking fight back. untill everybody is fcking happy with their grp.! make it a fcking a FAIR TO ALL BUT NT TO U BOSSES! i am just refering to the HEAD of this fcking idea, nt the rest of ma unfairly-treated-classmates.! i repeat,the fcking head! aigoo.even punching the toilet walls n smaking the toilet bowls dont calm me down. i prayd hard at hm to b calm upon receving this fcking-idiotic-nincompoop idea/news. but i cnt cntrl, the devil took over ma soul. to luqman, sry for scolding n staring u.LOL. i cnt cntrl.hmm. im nt sad hor. im fcking angry. the china kiddos wanna mix with singapore mates to improve their eng. s they tend to speak their lang amg emselves. same like us right.? and..... boss2 said sth like improving english thru reading n wadever crap. u r saying this fckin shit bcos u r just fcking happy with ur fcking grp. they TOTALLY DISAGREE with drawing lots. n we hv to fccking listen.? wad bout nw we say we are totally fcking disagree with the fcking grp u fckng place us.? u r nt gonna fcking listen to it right.? I CURSE UR CHILDREN TO BE BORN FCKING NAKED! there can be no justice without peace.! this is ma fcking blog. so its ma fcking problem. u cn go n condemn me in ur blogs. well if u did..GOOD DOGGIES! u listend to me. *roll eyes.* oh hw i wish the WHOLE CLASS reads this! its all in here. ill remember ur fcking ideas. u destroy everything. the harmony in our class. we r separating apart. thanks to u.! i fcking hate everything tht is happening right nw.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Allah, give US,the treatd differently bunch the strength to face all this fcking nonsense/bullshit with patience. amin! KORG TAKE CARE SUA! till den wansuey(to unbiased ppl) -blacklipsLabels: its all in here.
May Peace BE Upon TO You.finally ma lappy is bck in action.LOLbut it cost me $53.30! fcuking ex!im alr broke!damn!mr.eye candy is talki to me.he's true colours cmin out.in a gd way.he love to laugh.n i love looki at him.LOLthrs this time i think i lookd too deep into his eyes tht he felt uncomfortable n lookd away.then i realise.LOL.he effing attractive la!hahasometimes i wonder if they even rembr ma name,serious.im nowhr in their list.well its nt tht i WANT to b. but at least acknowledge tht we use to b frns or sth,some ppl ask.they r ur friends.? than why isnt ur link thr.?n ma usual reason will be..''i dont think they know i hv a blog.''even though i invite em, told em to link n stuff.hmm.sad.*shrug*stayd in sch til 9pm.in the lib.n 1 of ma lect mate actually say this to me."surprisingly u stayd bck"i ws like wtf.?why must it always be "surpirsingly" when it comes to me.?why r u guys underestimating me.i screw u guys for this.does making me feel left out not enuf for u guys.?i ws fcking irrirated.serious.tears startd to blur ma vision.n yes, i cry when im angry.it will just start pouring.this happens ONLY if i didnt fight bck.yeap.why is thr always sth bout me tht u guys dislike.i didnt talk to sandhya tht much aft she shushs me during lect.it wsnt s if i ws talking bout other things, i ws askin luqman bout the topic.n she said this to me.''fadilah! please keep quiet n listen to the lecturer.pleaaaase.! thaaaank youuuuu"like tht. i ws like wtf.? u sat seats away frm me, n i ws whispering n u cn fcking hear me.?i ws soooooo pissed.i didnt say anything to her. i ws looking at her.humans... VERY JUDGEMENTAL!i fcking hate it la!n 1 thing,u NEVER call me fadilah.NEVER!nxt day, she happens to b in the ladies i went.i ignored her.she said ''hi'' n all i did ws staring into the soul of ma own reflection.till she said it again..n i just nod.didnt smile at her n all.serious. they've been treating me like crap.and im tired of keeping it.......................................I WANNA TATOO MA EYE, THE WHITE AREA!its possible.! sw it on tv. i ws like.. cool!oh n i wanna implants horns, and split ma tongue with piercings.hmm.. only IF its nt a taboo to ma religion.hmm. .......................................nana ws pouring out to me tht luqman is treating her differently s compare to our 1st yr.hmm. then i ws thinking..mayb..she's trying to say tht she's refering to me. kos during our 1st yr,i fought with em.im always alone.mixing with ind classmates n china classmates.then.. sem 2, i mix with em.n i got to know tht they actually say.." Fad actually gerek, but we realise it late."n luqman actually told me "i am more comfortable with u than nana."n nana ws sayin luqman chgd towards her.like dont like nana ard.do u think its realated.?they use to be BEST buddies u know.n aft i ws invited to spend time with em, ppl chg.so yeah, im guilty.*sigh deeply*nana ws telling me hw she felt left out since she's no longer spent time with us like we used to since she hv to repeat some modules.n i ws telling her, tht her assumptions is extremely stupid.kos i do update her.like the "summarised" class meetings, eye cndy. ALL!hmmthen thrs this time she ate in the toilet just because she dont hv any1 to eat with.she hates eatin along.she ws tellin gme, she ws crying.but she didnt know tht i DID the same thing.kos i hv no one to eat with.n i AM AFRAID OF PPL.i avoid crowds. i hate the sight of humas ard me.yeap. thus i went to this air-conditioned toilet, n ate in thr.yeap, disgusting, but i aint hv any choice.hmmi actually felt sad for maself.nana really shdnt do tht.she hv no fear of crowd.i sorta force her to let it out.n she felt relief aft tht.so, she ws actuall blaming luqman. when i realise its ma fault.hmm....................................thr's this greedy thing in me who is lookin for love.its embarrassing. but its the truth.mayb bcoz im nt in gd terms with ma family.epecially parents.thts why im craving for a relationship.please, im nt a despo.LOLi read ma ex-classmate's blog, zul.i realise, her bro left hm. n nw her dad wants her to leave.she got scoldings in the morn, ust b4 she went to sch.sad.. but i somehw think ma situation is worse.more like pathetic!oh btw, bout the grp meeting, i realise one of ma grp mmbrs dont really like out current grp.she wanna b with mushi n eugene.thus, we hv to reshuffle the whole grp.hmmtnx eh. i ws a lil pissed. but every1 hv their rights. so i shut up.(:thrs only 20plus ppeps in ma class.so...some possibilities.1st grp:-vani-mushi-sandhya-diana-eugene2nd grp:-nazira-adeline-jess-rachel-3rd grp:-sze en-ruijie-xiao xin-me-left with:-huijie-huxin-jiayin-sheikh-luqman-yi qing-fatin-luqma told me before hand tht he wants to join ma grp if the class were to reshuffle.hmm.we'll see. hw the hell they r goin to elect the leaders.we'll see.i need monaymonaymonay!aite,till i hv sth to share.-blacklips.Labels: its all in here., Mr.eye candy(:, some things are better hidden
May Peace BE Upon To You.hmm.loads n loads of things to share.!MR.EYE CANDYwe've startd to talk alr. this wk is quite 'eventful'.hahaha.watch crap/funny vid in ma fone tgt.!(:i realise he IS a caring person.hmm. his gf MUST b extremely lucky!GOSSIPSon last thurs, we r suppose to hv a class meeting.n it ws canceld because the one who ws suppose to talk./gave her ideas left.like literally LEFT. i ws pissed. but i didnt say anything.like i said. i consider maself smart in hiding ma expressions/feelings/emotions or wadever u call it.so they donnoe. i cn see some were pissed.with harsh words and sacarsms. even though, its nt me who suggests this meetings.the way she said it, by hearin it, i gt pissd.then, aft cancellin it,vani decidd to like summarise it.it ws....i shall say hurtful to some ppl.i placed maself in their shoes for the suggestiions.which is to reshuffle the whole class. 4 new grps again.this yr we shuffled alr. n they wanna shuffle it again bcoz they felt tht some ppl are freeloaders.n their idea is to grp all ths freeloaders/free lunch ppl tgt.n just imagine the label u hv.imagine the bunch of ppl u r with.u might b thinkin..''why.? im i d outcast?''sth like tht la.dont u think its sad.?but she mentiond tht we r nt discriminating these ppl.well. i ws thinkin. ''well..u guys/some might b thinkin tht way..but wad bout them.?''well, at 1st i DO agree.so everybody hv fair job.fair amt of wrk.kos i think if its U who do the research,info gathering, then some ppl just present it.its nt fair right.? but aft a while, i realise, no.this ppl need help, being motivated n all.ok,u guys cn shuffle the class, but consider ma NEW and UNDERSTANDING grp done.we r nt involve.u guys cn go ahead.n they wanna choose the ppl they r comfortable with.n mushi ws like ''scolding'' yi qing.in front of the class. imagine what he felt.bcoz yi qing wsnt listening. so mushi went ''yi qing! u listen! this is very impt!''sth like tht. BOTH is at fault.!she ws actually pointing at yi qing.SOUNDS like they were refering to yi qing all the way.!sacarsms!then the china stud. n some other talk bout it over lunch.n guess what.? they were very pissed.xiao xin ws like.'' fad, im very angry i donnoe wd to say alr''n she ws talkin/scoldin to herself in chi. so i dont understand.eugene ws tryin to calm her down.hui jie ws pissed. basically ALL ws pissed.sze en,ma grp leader, told me tht they cn chg, but we wont.n ws tellin the obvious bunch of ppl tht will b in a grp.like the same clan of ppl.things like tht.i tried to cheer them up n finally the topic endd.ive nvr seen em this mad.hmm.so this meeting ws posponed to fri, then postponed AGAIN to nxt wk.DONT ASK ME WHY!during the ''summarise' disscussion which lasts like half an hr!wth. almost all ws smilin n giggling.but its extremely obvious tht those are FAKE!FAKE!FAKE!FAKE!hui jie ws mentionin bout the compliments they get frm vani/mushi.n said tht thrs meaning behind it.which i SOMEHW think its true.serious. out of the blue u suddenly praise em.? well its nt impossible. but during the situation tht time, i smhw think its NOT sincere!period.im very brave to mention their names here. so gonna get screwd if they found this blog.well.im just stating facts frm what i see n hear. n ma thoughts to it too.hmm.frm what i c.i SUSPECT..yi qing, sheikh,maybe luqman,jia ying and erm..me?no! im nt a fucking freeloader!they make it sounds like tht.-cca (luqman is ALWAYS bz with cca)-nt initiative (sheikh n yiqing?)idk ok idk. this is wad i heard..k WHATEVER! ill end tht topic with : humans are bunch of interesting creatures.THIS IS HW EMO LAUGH.i introduced this random game which ws introduced to me by 2 of ma triplet sis to ma classmates!we were waiting for our tutor for lab lesson.then i ws bored.so i ask luqman if he ever heard of it.n obviously, he hsnt. so i playd with him.fad: u say ''ha'' aft i say ''this is hw emo laugh,ha'' u cannot laugh/smile n eye cntct hor! kos u will. ull see.man:kkwe tried.fad: *serious face* this is hw emo laugh,haman:*smile n start to alugh madly*fad: see.?serious la!we tried again n failed.luqman tried on diana. fail. to her bf, faris, half way sucessful.kos it ws too fast.the chinese classmates ws lookin n laughin tgt with us.LOLsandhya gt curious n ask me. i explaind to her, n she wanna giv it a try.so luqman play with her.cnt cntrl. n startd laughin.rachel saw, she also wanna giv it a try.n soon everybody ws laughin!they ws like.''eh, u try with'' so and so.rachel:eh fun!fun! who intro one?i just smile.i ws extremely touched!everybody ws laughin n smiling SINCERELY!serious. i cn still see their happy faces in ma mind.i hope this last....its really hard.ma class is devided in to..lets see..4 grps.the foreigners, mly (3ppl ), indians, and singaporean chi. some r with their bf.like tht. we lack bonding.hmmthis wk,sch starts at 8 am, end at ard 6 almost everyday, 2 days night.soooo...very exhausted. thus im like updatin everything.hehethank u for ur time.aitewansuey-blacklipsLabels: gossips and games
May Peace Be Upon To You.
oh btw, i ask mom if she told dad tht i end ma frnship alr.
she told me she dont care, wants me to say it maself,
n guess what.?
i got to know early today tht she askd me sis,hajar,the 1st triplet bout this.
like why n all. hajar ws receivin a long lecture on ths.
pity her, hv to take all of those bcos of me.
on d other hand,she cares.hmm..
*shrug*
she ws tellin hajar.she aint happy.
but its wad she wants wad.?
dont u think.?hmm
some ppl, this is life u see.
n i ws thinkin if i cn support gays.
cn i.?
-blacklips
Labels: Friendship
credits to the rightful owner.
May PEace Be UPon To You.
im suppose to do ma project.
BUT. i hv sth to share.
hmm.
for this mother's day tml,
I HOPE, FOR ONCE, JUST FOR ONCE, MA MUM IS NOT BIAS!
i hv 8 mbrs in ma family(lol.sound sooo primary sch.LOL)
me parents,me, triplet sis, 2 younger bro.
hmm. yeeap.
n SOMETIMES i felt tht their love is more to ma lil bro than the rest of me sibs.
iono if its ma feeling or wad.but when i ask ma other siib, they felt the same way la.
so... yeap.
thrs this time.
twice. twice ma dad had a company thing.its like a trip to somewhr in msia.
so everybody ws waiting excitdly for him to come bck u know.
especially me sib..
and twice, he gets sourveniors for ma brothers.
not even 1 of his gerls.
hmm. sad.?no?
at 1st i thought, ok, on the right side,mayb he aint hv enuf cash with him...
or mayb,on d left hand,(haha) in his mind...thrs oni ma brothers.
when he reach hm tht time, ma triplet sis ws alr asleep.i ws actually waiting for him.(:
3 days is long ok.?!haha. i kept askin ma mom wad time dad will b home.hmm.
so he reachd hm ard 10/11 plus.
then he took out 2 boxes for me bro. so. i thought, just thought tht i shd expect mine too.
shd expect ours. but aft the two box, he gave it to me bro. they ws jumpin for joy.
i just stood thr, smiling.
aft waiting for a few mins, n ma bro alr startd exploring their cool flying toy.
i realise, we,me n ma othr sibs, hd nothing.
k seriously, i ws SAD.
so i went to ma room, n study
more like forcing maself to study so i wont b thinking bout all this.
hmm. but i cnt actually.
the next day,ma triplet sis woke up realising the same thing.
we didnt even talk to each other. kos we understood each other.(:
thrs more to it..but thts the latest extra love i see him givin ma lil bros.
tht ws dad part.
Mum's part. this,ofcourse had a bigger impct on us.
she once told us, tht she prefer taking care of the guys than us.
mayb it true.
guys r much easier to b taken care of.
hmm.i always tried ma very best to psycho maself tht mom just wanna hurt us.
or to improve maself. who knows.? thts her way of motivatin us.?right.?
n yeap. i did tht. tellin maself tht everyday.
ma lil bros, gets more than us.hmm.
its proven yaw.LOL
ma 1st lil bro is very plum.
hahahahhahahahahahah. kos he get almost the same pocket money with us, the gerls.
when i ws his age, ill be gettin frm 50 cents to a dollar.
but he's gettin 2-2.50. *smile*
mayb, jusy mayb,this might b the reason i wanna b a guy.hmm.
seriously, when i ws in ma mum's womb, the dr actually say tht me mom is expectin a guy.
but when im out, it turns out to b a gerl.
s expected...ma frn say everything i did is guy like.
well.almost everything.
frm the way i TALK especiallly, to the way i walk, to the way i eat.
every now n then, i hv ppl reminding me tht im a gurl.
"fad, u r a gurl."
"eh fad! u r a gurl right.? talk like one."-on the fone
both guys n gurls do say tht to me.hahah. im happy with the way i am.
n i tell u, i swear im tryin to b one.!
i even had thoughts to b a butch.
gd thing i hv this headscarf to remind maself who i am.
hahhahaahaahahahahah.
so,yah,everyday's scoldings will always b either on nt doing hsewrk,or ma pampered lil bros.
they love disturbin ppl. extremely irritatin.
n obviously,i just gt scolded,thus im sharin.
hah.
aite.
imma do ma project.(:
wansuey
-blacklips.
Labels: bias
May Peace Be Upon To You.8 mayist thing ist, i need a new handphone.its been 1yr and 7 mths.hmm. just imagine tht longbut thts nt the thing.i wanna chg s ma fone, went for swimming last yr.surprisingly, still cn b use. but then thr ws some prob.n nw, the prob is gettin worse.the worse thing tht happen ws. receivin sms aft 3 days and cn only talk on the fone for 4 seconds!hw terrible?!well,tell me bout it.*shakes head*during statistic lecture just nw, ma lect. took hw much pocket money we get per week s an example.so, she ws askin ard. we gave/shout our ans.the 1st figure ws 60 bux. (nana,ma classmate ws like..thts nt enuf!)i ws like.. o.O serious.?thts ALOT!!!!!!!then the nxt figure ws 100.this ws the highest in the lect theatre.then nana shoutd ''90!'' once again i go... o.O waaad.? u serious.? 18 BUX PER DAY???!?!!!!!alot alot alot alot!!so thr ws..-60-100-90-75-.... and 25.this chi gurl if im nt wrong, she shoutd this number.and u know what ws the reaction frm the theatre.?LAUGHTER.luqman ws beside me,he ws laughin madly.nana ws like.serious.?!n guess wad.? 25 bux per wk is more than mine.hmm. no one knows this though.wanna know mine.?mine is 3-4 bux per day.
so, ard less than 20 bux per wk.?hmm. yeap.imagine. 25 bux alr being laughd at.?shd b thankful instead. dont u think so.?hmmi ws thinkin, u guys r bunch of freakin/effin/fckin RICH PPL!hw lucky! hmm.but nw, ma fone is going crazier. i hv, by hook or by crook spent max of less than 2 bux per day.so i cn get a new one.hmm.even if im spendin ard 2-3 bux per day.it aint enuf.its either i EAT or i DRINK.thts hw ex it is.oh wait.! or i cn get toast for 5o cents.yeap, for brkfast/lunch in sch.but i NEVER tell ma parents.hmm. i hv to understand em.NO ONE KNEW THIS.NO ONE!7 mayi said ''purposely'' unintentionally.sheikh ws laughin madly.actually the whole class ws.n i ws d centre of attraction.sooooo embarrasing.!i hate attention.serious. i ws coverin ma mouth.k, ma tutor, which is the director of nursing, made a mistake.i realise,but didnt tell her, then, nazira did.n she ws like..''i purposely one''then, i ws thinkin..''purposely.''-i wsnt askin.nt a qn. its a freakin sentence.luqman ws laughin.sayin i ws sacarstic.i sw sheikh..he ws laughin,POINTING at me.his face turs red alr.i ws like. woah.?! i ws thinkin out loud. n...........bottom line i ws freakin embarrassed.
but i laugh hard s well.(:i realise sheikh hv the same habit which is open-mouth-look.
omo.! he look soo blur-and-gd-lookin. haha.LOL
*shakes head**cheeky smile*
n this very day,
Nadli txt me. aft been missin for4 days.
i alr told me mom i end the frnship.i gt over it alr. n nw he's bck..
WHY?! he txt me at ard 7.30pm.
but i purposely ignored.replied him at ard 10.30, which i know he's alr sleepin.
he's servin national service as a police.hmm
seriously,i hate policemen.
wanna know y.? let me summarise...
thrs this time ma neighbour attackd us.they tried everything to hurt us.emotionally.
then we called the police,the MALAY POLICE da kener slow talk with ma neighbour, sided em!
this is the 2nd time police came down.
the 1st one is gd, he hear frm both side.
i rmbr,it ws during Hari Raya when me sis calls me to come bck s police came down again.
the policemen ws ard his early 20s. when i reach hm,ma mum wants me to stay outside.
then, aft catchin up,i realise i ws actually STARING AT THE EFFING POLICEMEN!i ws effing pissed.
he realised it, n curik2 lookin at me.shd hv rmbr his name!DAMN!
*shakes head*
THUS, i HATE POLICEMENS.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!he MADE ME!
ma cuzz is servin s a policemen too.
so is this guy who is ''aft'' me.
since i ws thinkin of me parents, i hv to reject indirectly.
sry.
oooh! but i LOVE SCDF guys.
find em extremely gd-lookin in their uni.
*angkt keneng*
prefer CD than policemen.heh.(:
stereoptype.LOL
aite.
wansuey
-blacklips
Labels: Friendship, Mr.eye candy(:, updates (:
Finally talkin to Mr. Eye candy!(:
10:23 PM
on cloud nine,.?LOL
im feeling sooooooo GAY!May PEace BE Upon To You.
hmm.
ma lecture mates n ma classmates ws tellin me yesterday.
''fad,u so hyper uh today''
idk y, but i felt unsually happy the past few days.hmm.
mayb im tryin too hard n thus bcome hyper.
but seriously, i do laugh madly, till tears rollin when im wif ppl i know.
hmm.
TODAY!
luqman: he needs some1 like u
fad: eh man, i cn b embarrased also u know.
kos sheikh ws tellin a lame joke 2 days ago.
n man ws tellin me tht la.haha
i took tht s complimnt, sayin it to maself.
i finally manage to communicate with ma EYE CANDY.
Mr.Sheikh.
its been 3 wks since sch starts n nw is the day. *ahh*(the holy way)
even 1 of ma besties agrees tht he is effing gd looking.
its been a yr since i hd laid ma eyes on him.
just imagine. n nw he's in ma class,repeatin some modules.
lucky.? u r damn right.! hmm.
*gerls hormones stimulating*
so during tutorial he sat the row behind mine.. a.l.o.n.e
it ws psych tut.
n we hv this activity i use to hv during secondary sch.
paste paper at ur bck,go ard,n hv ppl write things bout u.
n Sheikh ws the last person for me to write.
hmm.
at 1st i thought of writing ''my yr1,semester 1 eye candy till nw'' (nw, im in yr 2 sem 1 btw.*winks*)
but instead.i wrote..''gd looking(:''-exactly like tht.
n he said.''aite,tnx.let me write''
so i turn.*cheeky laughter* then i said out loud.''oooh, i hv a bad feeling bout this."*laughs*
fad:tnx.*smile* and walk off.
i hv this extremely shy thing u know.nt to tht extreme la.LOLs.
no palpitations. but just like paisey paisey lol.
then.at 1st i thought he wrote ''humor''
but at d end of the day...i realise, he actually wrote..''LOOK FOERCE BUT FUNNY!"-exactly like tht.
wadeve u say sheikh.ill take tht s complimnt.*say it with feelings.*LOL
overall.they say im....
-very quiet, yet very good to be with
-look fierce but funny!
-errie stare!
-music lover
-very quiet and mystery gurl
-quiet,cool(=
-very cool gurl (4 times)
-humour
-havoc girl
-loud
-GEREK! (which means extremely fun.sth like tht)
- 1st impression:quiet aft tht: very noisy (HAHA!)
-gothic
-quiet gal
-dont talk much
yeap.thts what ppl thinks of me.
almost aall is true.
EXCEPT. gothic,cool,havoc.
(: i seriously dont think thts me.but ppl said those.
like many times alr.hmm.
Shiekh's paper is full with ''handsome'' ''tall''
i think im d only one who wrote what i wrote.LOLs.
then next tutorial, same class.
sheikh moved. a chair closer. hehe.
i ws like..''come closer! i wanna hv a closer look u gd looking bastard''
LOL.
thrs this pt,we made eye cntct n laugh at our tutor.
LOL.! tht tutorial is the total bad ass!
we happen o b in a grp.
me,sheikh,luqman n eugene.
n yes, 3 guys n me alone in ma grp.hehe
sheikh move to ma row.
then we hv to dcide who shd present wad we've discussed.
no one wants.so luqman suggest play black n white.
at 1st i dont wanna play..''eh, u 3 guys play, im a gurl, gimme chance''
n obviously,they forced me.so yeah i played..to b fair.
1st round:all black
2nd round:all white
3rd round. i ws tearin alr..smhw it ws sooo funny.! i decided to cheat.
i couple up (chey!) with sheikh. tellin him to do the same with me, so both of us safe uh.LOL
n he followd.
i took paper, cover the side of me mouth,mimicked ''white''
4th round: all white
5th round: "black" then finally eugene ws d odd one.LOL
i cnt stop laughin.!
our grp ws like the most noisiest!
we get our answers the fastest.
haha
then every time the tutor made lame jokes, sheikh will quickly turn to me.
we laugh our ass out.!
woohoo.
k i know.boring for u guys.
but.he IS ma eye cndy!n finally we r talkin aft 3 wks of sch.!
LOL
i hope tml will b better!
during lectures, he sat a chair beside me.
*angkt2 keneng*
i swear i ws a lil, just a lil jealous since i knew since last yr tht he's attatched.
hmm.
but i tell u, not only me,almost the whole class admires him.
only tht i happen to saw him when i ws in year 1.
at 1st he opens the door for me.
then eye cntct. n today, IS THE BEST!
*runs ard*
DONT MIND ME IF THIS BORES READERS.
im just tryin ma best to accept the fact that i AM a gurl.
n yes, despite me wearing headscarf(tudong) i USED to like gurls.
but i never express it to em.
this is sth not many knows.s i ws extremely obvious.
luqman told me during or 3-hrs-effing-long-break tht he trusts me.
n he told me his prob wif his gf,n ask for advise.like wad he shd do.
things like tht.
i thankd him n say ''alhamdullillah''(thank allah.)
i had ma CCA just nw.
i decided to join strings, playing the sexy violin.
kos i thought i need music,play sth will b better, just sth to calms me down.
so yeah.im learnin hw to play the violin.
n i hv no basics.
but i very-the-semangat- so yeah! i CAN! (:
ma classmate is playing the violin too.
n ma exclassmate frm yishun sec,Wan ws thr too.
but he pro alr la.
anything, i'll ask him!
he mst teach!LOL.
aite
wansuey
-blacklips
Labels: finally
May Peace Be Upon To You.fad: mom i hv gd news for u, well, it is for u.mom:wad gd news.?fad: im no longer incntct with nadli.mom: alhamdullillah.why?fad: i dont wanna say.mom: why.?fad: i just dont wanna say. u shd b happy.mom: no! ur cuzz hv no secrets with their parents.i still didnt tell her why.well, she wants it, so im givin it to u, n u ask why.?sch sux.i cnt focus. DAMN!i ws askin maself why must i b thinkin bout it.?i dont think he thinks bout it.hw pathetic.in ma mind, yesterday, ws messy.too many stuff goin on in ma head.n guess wad i did.?i zikir.iono hw to xplain this in eng.hmm.till 1 plus am.at least it calmd me down.(:seriously iono to whom i shd go to.so, i approach god. only him cn help me.im leaving everythin to him.ily god,Allah.ily.sheik didnt attend lect. hmm.sheik is like the popular-for-his-look-guy.almost all the gerls in ma class admires him.n he is ma yr,sem1 eye candy.then he happens to repeat n thus he's placed in ma class.!!lucky.? u cn say tht.n luqman s expected didnt attend class.so, kinda lonely, the 2 kiddo im close in sch is nt with me.nana in diff class n luqman, m.i.a.i felt like crying.n besties,(siti,arisa n irah) knows big time tht i dont cry when im sad.or wadever im feelin,other than when im laughin,n yes i do cry when i laugh.uniqueness in me.(: yeye.!niways, i manage to cry tht day. ws chattin with siti.she ws like ''cry fad,cry,let it out''n surprisingly, i ws shakin with sadness.its just sth i cldnt imagine i wld hv done.hmm.u know wad i need nw.? i need chocolate,a shoulder i cn cry on,a hug,and comforting words please.i wish i hv this.hmm.they say,i lookd depressed.''shoo'' em off by sayin im kinda sick.*shrug*its a gd thing i didnt scratch/cut meself.yes, i use to, n still am doing this shit.thr's this time i cut maself in the toilet.y.? kos i faild ma paper. i ws very disappointd.like big time.so i happily or shall i say, unconsciously went to toilet, took out ma penknife n surgical scissors.n start ma drawing.i cldnt feel a think.serious. mayb i ws extremely occupied.hmm. so when i reach home.wanna bathe,i realise sth biting.n its ma arms,forearms.hmm.it wsnt bleedin though.wrote ma name.hmm. ''fad''no one knew *smile*ma other blog: http://www.fad-blacklips.blogspot.com/ do visit ya.(:haiz.till thenwansuey-blacklipsLabels: because of u.
May Peace Be Upon To You.aft much thought, i really hv to pour thing out.hmm.k, i dont wanna introduce maself.seriously,i hate ppl knowing the REAL me.keyword:realI HOPE NO 1 I KNOW WILL READ THIS BLOG. *cross fingers*ma latest problem is ma friendship with Nadli.we've known each other for 1 mth minus 3 days.through ma cuzz,Arif (same age with me)Nad waited for 1 whole wk to get ma num,aother words,to get ''green light '' frm me.s when cuzzie told me bout a guy who wants to know me,it ws on 1st april.so i thought, it ws a joke.n i ignord him.n the following wk,arif txt me again ..''believe me nw.?"so i agreed aft askin damn loads of qns.hahaive alr made it straight tht im gonna take it s friends.keyword:friends.why.? kos i don wanna disappoint me parents.they r putting hopes on me.then,1 day,ma parents, got to know bout this,sorta force me to END the friendship.sad. i really2 appreciate the frnship i had with this guy.actually at 1st. parents used to say..''friendship is ok''soon it ws..''y must it b with him?''n nw is..''i dont like u knowing arif's frn.why?why must it b him?''n s expectd, i aint hv any ans to tht.for a few days straight, the topic, me mum will lect me on is bout ma frnship with nad.she even threatend me, she said, she'll call arif n scold him.i dont want arif to get involve,since its me who agrees to this frnship.i always told maself,frns n sibs..'' its better to keep quiet,thts the best" in mly.so, i didnt say a thing.nt even a word.m i weak.?or m i respecting me parentsnadli is a fun guy,as a friend,i swear.he makes u laugh as early as 2-3 in the morn.he knows hw to entertain ppl.its like a must to laugh when u r talkin to him.thus i really treasure it.then,2 days ago,he told me tht sometimes when he's talkin to me, he sorta heard me say ''b''i guess its the short for ''baby/hubby'' i think. iono. which ever i think it is la.n i didnt said tht. but i think it smhw bothers him.s the day b4 he ask me, he txt me,'' i wanna ask u a qn, but im shy''-sth like tht la.he kept it for 2 days, or god knows hw long since its been almost a mth alr since we knew each other.but i swear i didnt say tht.serious.n he ask ''when do u think we cn meet.?"he hs been askin me out. like watch him prac his dance.follow him to his godsister's birthday party.things like tht.at 1st i thought y nt right.?he's ma frn niwae.but then,everytime he ask me out, i alr hv plns.so i thought mayb,just mayb,i shdnt meet him.so i replied..''what will u do/say if i say ''its better if we dont meet'' ?''he said sth like, he wldnt hv a choice.s he always agrees to a gerl's decision.fad: so u reaspect it la.?hmm. ic icnad: but y sey u.?i told him i hv many reasons to tht.he is disappointed i think.n for the 1st time, he didnt msg me for the whole day.today is the 2nd.hmmwell. i think he realises tht he's wasting his time on me.n im glad he realised it alr.he simply made ma job easy by nt tellin him sth like. ''lets end this frnship''been wantingto ask him bout ending this frnship thing 3 days ago.but i guess if some1 said tht to u, u'll b offendd. so i didnt.k 1 prob down.BUT. im sooooooo used to have ma phone ringing with his calls/msges.aigoo.for frnship is this tough.i wonder hw u guys suffer for BGR.haha. oh wells.i kept tellin maself..''look on the bright side, ur parents wont hv to lecture u on this frnship""u get to safe ur bills"-not"u will hv gd relationship with ur parents.."umhmm.every single thing remins me of him.stupid me!its irritating!oh wells.okay.till thenwansuey-blacklipsLabels: its over.?
