May Peace Be Upon To You.
everything tht come must go.
smhw i felt sad even though im not related with micheal jackson.
since yesterday, everywhr i ent, ill b hesring his songs on radio. etc.
the same day, ma neighbour passed away.
the atmosphere at tht time ws.. wierd.
i ws alr sad, and ma neighbour passed away, ws kinda hard for me to take in.
):
may the both or you rest in peace.
-blacklips
May Peace Be Upon To You.
i hope one day, some1 out there is willing to play a game with me.
manipulations of emotions to conntrol the mind.i hope its the best game im gonna play ever.
amin!(:
-blacklips
Labels: some things are better hidden
May Peace Be Upon To You.i found a friend. i hope she is.she's always behaving, not just towards me, but towards others..how gd she is for a friend.seriously.she really knows hw to cheer ppl up..i hope this kind of friendship last forever.(:we went school library.ate at koufu, and this is when she share stories.stories why she is ot in gd term with some ppl.all bout backstabbingand i realise all this "gerek" ppl always face this problem.AND i think im 1 of them who faced this MANY times.hw do i kow im gerek.?ma friends told me.yeap.and both of us have the same habits of hiding emotions.yes! and a lecturer told her tht those that laughs alot have alot of problems, basically they hide their emotions.speaks alot aint it.?yeap. definitely true.n now.i found out tht ma old buddies.i repeat, old buddies, they went ofr a gathering WITHOUT me.very hurtful!and the name for those pics is:a GREAT COMPLETE gathering.serioius, she made it like tht.those who made it complete is jeyda, shid, zul, fira, haziq, amir, rahim, shafiq, azrie, shahiran and helena.the 1st 3 were ma schmates and wrk mates and the rest were ma wrkmates.yeap.some told they missd me. but...?jeyda told me tht it ws a last minute thing n she donnoe why i wsnt invited.and she ws frm her cca at tht time.yeap.it really hurt.k mayb its ma fault. i am anti-social.):imma cry.shahida,baby, cheerd me up.im happy to hv her as ma friend.!seriously, i thank god, to give some1 who appreciate friend like shahida at the mmt to me.haiz....well. lets say they invite me, which may seem impossible.yeap.impossible, thrs a possiblity ill not cm.1st reason: i dnt think they r close with me.2nd: ma parents will not allow, as its a night thing.well wad they cn do is to atleast aknowledge me.haiz, this made me stay away from them.hmm.imma consider not to joi them for hari raya visits this yr.):simply because im an anti-social gurl.hw pathetic.-blacklipsLabels: its all in here.
May Peace Be Upon To You.she hungers for love, waiting for her prince charming,instead, loneliness comes to call,knocking on my door,asking to play,knowing tht i will answer..-blacklipsLabels: its all in here., lost, me.
May Peace Be Upon To Youfrm ma main blog....
Monday, June 22, 2009May Peace Be Upon To You.KO KAYER KAN? MULOT KO ADER INSURANCE TK.?KLU ADR.. AKU NK TAMPAR PKI SLIPAR.! BOLEH.?-blacklips-edited-k i KNOW tht im doing the same thing now.hurting ppl. but this is wad i feel.URGH!-blacklips
Labels: class gatheringFad.Fadil blogged at 11:30 PM
May Peace Be Upon To You." fad, FERST time aku nmpk ko MKN MAHAL"*fad took out 10 bux to pay*" WOAH! fad keluarkn TEN DOLLARS"key words are those in caps.seriously, this hs been bothering me.FRIENDS.. pls tag.u consider me as the only frn tht u trust, n u HURT tht person.?kwn saket kn hati kwn.?hah.pft.even after i said "ouch" repeatdly AT YOU.u just ignored. no apology or AT LEAST REALISE WAD UVE DONE!U BASTARD!k fine, u ppl might find it.. like..alah, bende remeh temeh pn ko nk ckp.ma ans is YES! AKU ADER HARGA DIRI,PRIDE.AND SIMPLY BECAUSE I AM A HUMAN WITH FEELINGS!i came for u damnit!seriously, I DONT WANNA GO.besties shd know..., i told em.i really really really dont wanna go."i dont find a reason why, except listening to ur story." - this is wad i told u.hmmu insist; "please?"aku igt KWN peh psl.. aku dtg.pft. nw.... CLASSMATE. u ARE a classmate.great. thts hw HURT i am.hope u at least realise NOW!u just explaind to me bout YOUR "bestfriends"and nw.?*shakes head* more like talking bout urself.saketkn hati kwn.urgh!bestfriend?trust?only one?haah!!ko simpan sua.n im stupid enuf to b thr for this person.regret.? sort of.!u shd jage2 with wad u say. some cn b taken.baru terjadi, so, yeah, im pissed, hati aku luka berdarah.so, today ws cls gathering.okla. food, NOT WORTH IT.serious crap.mushroom soup,fish n chips,jempo2 pisang in paper cup. -.-"cost me $9.80not worth it.serious!the best part...DRAG ME TO HELL.i mng to suppress ma feelings.and enjoy the effing show.the sound effect yg buat gerek.disgusting but ok uh, i rate the movie 6-7/10*chuckles*Nana peh pekek, aku pn tekejot. HAHA!lps tgk tht movie jek, everytime i saw extremely old ladies, aku terigt tht stupid lady."u shamed me. i begged u and u shamed me"HAHA.GFS! WE SHD WATCH THIS MOVIE, THE HAUNTING ......(i dont rmbr the whole title heh.)based on true story. criter gerek.!and ORPHAN!i think the hunting movie is on 24th.hmm.nak tgk nk tgk!kki gt proj to do.some ppl just dont trust me when it comes to me.if u get wad i mean.sad.mcm maner aku nk adr high self esteem.haha.maken terok la.help needed.FRM FRIENDS ONLY.!!*roll eyes*pictures soon!!! ((:-blacklipsnow i feel guilty for bloggin this..grrr. but this is wad i felt.n friends who taggd really cn make him cry.n he msn-d me..saying.."i hate this.""aku tgh nanges" = im cryin right nw.i replyd "for wad?" he didnt reply. n went offline aft a few mins.haiz, im sry luqman, but u really hurt me.u lookd dwn on me.n im really really really disappointd.Nana heard. n i didnt c her expression.she told me she heard those words.i ws tooo absorbd with his words.n i try ma best to enjoy the rest of the day.kos lunch ws the beginning of the event.yeap.nw i feel guilty.but i hv pride to keep.hmm-blacklips
May Peace Be Upon To You.ma guy frn says he's no longer ma eyecndy............HE'S MA CRUSHO.Ohmm, i apologise for talkin bout the same subject for the past entries, but i cnt stop maself.this is like the ONLY place/area i let it ALL out.):-blacklipsLabels: Mr.eye candy(:
May Peace Be Upon To You.im tired of thinking of seeing u everyday.at least once a day.n nw, we r having our hols.2 wks of hols and 4 wks of attatchmnts for me.DAMN! tht will be 6 solid wks of nt seeing u.!i hope, Mr.S will txt me.amin!(:the 1st per he laid his eyes on ws me!when he enter the lecture theatre.!we made eye cntct for like 3 seconds. then he walk. and sat a seat beside me.Luqman didnt turn up due to his driving test.hmmwe had fun! talkin and laughing during lect.aigoo. why m i feeling like this.?!its irritating.always hoping for his msges!he made me eat at the palm of his hands!damn damn damn!Mr.S, sabishii desu alr!!-blacklipsLabels: Mr.eye candy(:
May Peace Be Upon To You.
something is bothering me, but idk wot!
i wanna let it all out, but idk wad is the thing i wanna let out.
u feel me.?
which reminds me:
phone sex: feeling on the phone.(:
oh Allah, help me get through this.
wadever im feeling right nw.
end it end it end it!!!
-blacklips
Labels: lost
May Peace Be Upon To You.You tend to laugh and joke around when you are with everyone, but you feel lonely and empty when are all alone. you cry alone when you have stress and problems. you often have many problems that are bugging you, but you never show them out on your face. you are not as cheerful as they thought, but you just don't wish to spoilt the mood of everyone, hence you hide your emotions inside. you are just a weak human with feelings afterallproven! i hide ma TRUE feelings frm ppl!frm everyone!i took a quiz in facebk, n thts ma result.which is true.yes.i dont share ma prob. except to besties.n ill share only if its nt tht serious.yeap.i felt worthless just nw. especially during grp meeting.!kos i hv yet do ma proj. i i hd nothing to explain to the grp.!fatin is very patient with me.today i "idk" day.i felt sooo moody suddenly.n i cn explai why.hmph.im kinda worried for ma nxt sem NEW grp mmbrs.yeap.Mr.S gt some lecture frm vani.hmmfor nt doing his part of the project, she said.he told me things 2 days ago.bout his grp.hmm. i really hope when he is a grp with us, we'll manage more.yeap.olyte.imma go do project n memorise medications for tml class test.till then-blacklipsLabels: some things are better hidden
May Peace Be Upon To You.
hehe. *cheeky smile*
-blacklips
Labels: Mr.eye candy(:
May Peace Be Upon To You.i have a crush on him but im just lying to maself for nt admitting it!omo! he did stuff tht makes me attracted to him la!-.- i felt like shouting to him.like...-STOP LAUGHIN LIKE THT!-WIPE OFF THT CHEEKY SMILE OF URS!-DONT HANG UR MOUTH! -DONT SHOW ME UR DIMPLES!!!!-DONT CRACK JOKES!shake head. he looks good in every way.maybe bcos he IS ma eye candy.wad do u expect. its almost TWO YEARS ya noe. two effing yrs.foooooh. aniwaes, today, he ws with us like most of the time.during 20 min break during bio lecture, went to North canteen to eat.for Mr.S la.we(me n luqman) accompanied, just walk ard.Ama, ma schmate, finally see him!she ws like "omg fad! he is so handsome!"n i ws like "i know!" *chucklesand while i ws talking to Ama, i signald em to walk 1st.but Mr.S kept loking bck, n everytime he did tht,i will show sign to ask them to walk 1st.n its not 2nd look, ws like more than tht.with tht great/sincere smile of his. i cn melt thr and then.enter LTK3 tgt, which makes ma indian classmates turn n look at us.iono wad the hell they were talkin or thinkin bout. but i know it MUST be sth fishy.they were like smiling fishy-ly, lookin at us, go dwn the stairs.then went we came to our seats, Vani ws like speaking to me in Indian,which i dont understand eventhough i do hv ind bld.LOLim ind-mly.i dont speak ind.(: hahaha. but i understand a lil.(:its in the bld yaw.bio ended.1/2 an hr early.while waiting for nxt lesson,we lepak(chill) outside LTK3(lecture theatre K3)kos the LT ws very cold.so, him, luqman and me sat outside while waiting for Mr.Andy(ma cheeky lecturer).we were talking, n i ws telling Mr.S tht luqman's ass lookd like a gurl's.LOL"mampat" LOL. whistled when luqman walk.LOLhe follwd, whistling.LOLthen, ma classmates came to cam whoring.luqman joind em.-.- even though he's a guy, he ENJOYS taking pic. -.-so, left me with him, thr ws awkward silence.then he startd talking.iono hw, but the topic bout family came up.i realise/gt to know he is like MORE RELIGIOUS than other guys frns i had.i ws surprised. but i didnt show la.*hehe*his parents is like very the strict kind.frm the sound of it, more strict than mine.LOLhe's 20.(: and, his parents dont allow relationships.SAME LIKE MINE!-.-"n he told me tht he THOUGHT of sending me to sch last fri, but i ws alr on ma way to sch
when i WS AT HOME TO GO OUT! -.- (he ws lookin down when he said this)
wasted.? kinda. but imma reject tht offer, ill be telin him " erm, its okla, tk sdp uh, n ma mum wont like it, i think" but actually ma mum dont mind.ma guy frn use to send me home,workmates.
hmm, then break, went to lib aft, for the FIRST time he join us for lunch.oh ho! he avoid crowd. like me.LOLonly tht ma reason is tht im scared. LOLstayd i lib for like a few min, then.. hv to go prepare for meeting.Mr.S accompanied me kos man hv to meet his gf.so yes, he ws with me again.(:iono wad the hell im trying to tell here.LOLwadever it is, im kinda happy. KINDA.LOLmayb just bcoz, ma eye candy gave me these "treatments"told gf almost ALL bout it.hehe.they assume stuff.s usual.but i seriously told em no. n i dont want it to b tht way.kos i WISH to be his BESTFRIEND forever. till we meet in paradise of the other world.AMIN!and after tis wk, thr'll be 2 wks of holidays, and 4 wks of attatchmnts.hmm. i cnt see him,man,nana and ma classmates. i shall say im gona miss em.just becaous the 3 of em in i tht list. *wink*olyte.imma do ma proj nw.oh wait! imma go bloggin in ma other blog.yeap.till then-blacklipsLabels: Mr.eye candy(:
May Peace Be Upon You.woah!just nw,i had ma biology practical lab ICA=exam!o.o! yes! aft 2 ICAs last wk, n today ws another ICA.AND tml which is a presentation.oooooh! i hate PRESENTATIONs!!!pray for me.amin!so, bio was ok. im expecting a B or C.! hmmi hope i will get B though.(:tricky...very tricky..i shall call him Mr.S.so, yeah, Mr.S didnt come for ICA. he said he ws sick.spend his wkends helpin family n frns.sounds like he hv LOADS of responsibilities.hmm. iono. luqman askd,i told him n he said sth like "excuses"well. he might b lying, he might b not.but, one thing for sure, we donnoe.i realise Mr.S is quite popular for is punctuallity-not-ness.hmm.ok.i find some of his msges quite cheeky.LOL.serious crap.but ma psych lecturer/tutor is the best.!he IS extremely CHEEKY! i like.. BIG time.LOL.i like!then we had our mega break.6 hrs straight break!i ws like O.O haha. well. Mr.S txt me, play lappy, proj,lappy again, kinders.oh ya, luqman paid his debt to me alr.2 KINDERS!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!heheMr.S crack some extremely funny jokes during lecture today.me n luqman ws laughin real hard, tht our stomach n cheeks hurt.even the thought of it made me smile.!(:well, if i were to tell the joke here, it wont b funny anymore.talking bout funny and laughin.ive been spending ma weekends watching EXTREMELY HILARIOUS reality show.none other than "Japanese Game Show-Newspaper Agency"go watch! u'll get entertained BIG time!LOLthe latest ones.(:i find Endou gd-looking
and Tanaka really cute.!haha.oh wells.(:imma play these games with ma classmates.!nana made me lie to her mum, n nw i felt guilty.it happened just b4 i start bloggin! hmm.k fine! i dont wanna lie to maself.i admit tht these eye cndy feeling towards Mr.S is chgin to a admiring and crushin.hmm.i felt guilty for this.shahida assumes stupid stuff.but being me, i KNOW tht he IS FAR too gdlooking.hmm.palpitations.?sort of.nervous?sort of.hmm.to me:NO FAD! NO! REMEMBER U ARE A GUY! (lol)I MEAN! U CANNOT, I REPEAT, CANNOT LIKE HIM EVEN THOUGHT HE IS SINGLE NW!NO! NO! NO!oh i hope he dont read blogs.(:luqman's gf is..hmm.one word: bitch.they r tgt but she is treating other guys like the same hw she treat luqman!i ws like.. o.o ??she blogd bout it. eventhough i hv NOTHING to do with it, just by reading it pisses me off.i told luqman, u either bear with it, or end it., well he ASKED for ma opinion.*shrug*alright.imma go do ma proj and prepare for tml.till then.btw, wadever i blog here,no one who knows me know!so, if u happen to know me,im nt gonna stop u frm reading,or force u to tell me.but PLEASE,keep it as it is. dont spread!much appreciated.(:-blacklipsLabels: Mr.eye candy(:
May Peace Be Upon To You.woah, its been long ya.why?this wk ws VERY, EXTREMELY packed with exams!i hd 3 ICAs=exams.2 in thurs, and 1 on fri.i updat by wk uh.hmmmon.i actually cldnt rmbr wad actually hapen.except tht i reach sch early thinking i hd nursing lab practice.but it ws actually exams for some students. so i just sat thr to give support.!(:n Luqman ws 1 of them.he ws effing nervous.kept on calming him down, told him to selawat a lil.test him.(but during ma turn, which is on fri, HE SAID I WS IRRITATING! hw sad cn i be.?)i ws pissed.!then we hd 3 hrs break if im nt wrong.then 2 hrs of lecture.done.stayd bck aft sch to study.tues.erm, lets see.i. dont. remember. hehwed.went for Violin prac. Wan is willing to lend me his violin,vivi.its with me right nw.(:i aint hv money to buy A VIOLIN. pathetic. i. know.ws fun, learn new songs, pieces.thurs.MA LAB EXAM!freaking nervous IDK why!i ws trembling/shaking.im directly after Sheikh.side track a lil. i hv to admit. the eye cndy feeling is kinda fading.slowly, but surely.whichi think its gd, or else,i wont be able to do anything!!! -.-but we do TALK and CRAP nw.(:so, yeah, he ws laughing at me for being so nervous.i really hoped i gt catheterization for ma assessment.n YES i gt wot i want! yey for me.!2 mins aft sheikh went in, the call me. "siti fadilah"went in, sw Sheikh, n he ws smiling at me.!haha.even b4 entering the rm, last person he laid his eyes on ws me.LOL.*shakes heaD*shwd him a relieved n excitd face aft geting ma scenario!he borrowd ma pen.-.-start ma assessment.it ws a TOTAL embarrassment!the assessor talks LOUDLY! everybody in tht rm cld hear wot she askd me!n they said ma voice ws loud too. but tht ws like the softest i cn go.LOL.FINALLY i mng to ans her!i ws pissed at tht time.hmm.went out, Sheikh ws thr, with Rachel.we talkd n talkd.n he askd bout ma family. i ws like. o.OLuqman, being ma classmates for like 1 yr plus hv NVR ask those qns.so i just ansd bck.topic bout BF came. Rachel joind in the convo.i realise he brokd off wif his gf.i think its bcoz of his parent. ok idk.relief.? no! im nt. kos he no longer my eye candy. s in the feeling is nt tht strong.if he's reading this, gd luck to me.n if he ask me, ill say yes. "yes, u were ma eye candy. for more than a yr.(:"truth is better than lying.yes?so, rachel were asking why i dont hv a bf.aft i said no to sheikh.ma ans: i wld like tht guy to respect me.rachel: huh?why? wad do u mean? every guy respects a gurl wad.fad: i mean, we muslims cannot like touch each other...i know wads right n wads wrong.sheikh: *explains,continue frm whr i stop.*rachel continues asking me why i wear headscarf.i ws trained. since young. so im like use to it. yeap.she thought i use headscarf koz i thought i lookd ugly without em.hahhahaha. which is a no. they, ma classmates, prefer me without headscarf..but too bad for em. i want to wear it!for me right..im a muslim. so im kinda strict with the rights n wrongs.like some are unavoidable. but skin cntct with the opp sex is avoidable.so yeah.thts me. n ma ex ws like into hugging,touching, holding hands.i felt really uncomfortable.SIMPLY BECAUSE WE ARE MUSLIMS.yes.so, for his own gd,s i know guys hv their "needs" i end the relationship.i felt relief aft tht.rachel askd sheikh.he ws like, why every gurl ask me tht qn.i went -.- i didnt.LOLaskd for ma help to tap his card,for attendance.i ws nt willing. but since he promised to come, i helpd him.and he askd for ma number with the reason tht he is close to me.i ws like. ok. u r ma classmate, so why nt.(:exchg no. i realise i hv his num in ma cntct.n i went: eh? i hv ur number?n tht ws supposed to me in ma mind!-.-he ws like. u guys spread ma number or wad.?i tried to xplain.incase he mistook it.yeap, bid gd bye.then when i reachd lib to play games.LOLi received a msg frm him.HE PRAISES ME BIG TIME.ma face become superbly hot.LOL3 straight msges.-.-" nt proud, but i thank allah for who i am nw.told him to stop it b4 i start ironing ma clothes.LOLfri.the 1st person to txt me:sheikh.yeap.im kinda weak tday aft 4 days of insufficient sleep.LOL.so yeap, we still crap. laughin at our lecturer n her videos.he wishd me for ma test.thankd n left.oh ya.i woke up at 5.15 am.i FELL ASLEEP yesterday. n i hv test tday!i panicked BIG time!*shake head*so studied for a few mins, fell asleep, woke up again at 6.15 to get ready to sch.hmm. then came the time for ICA.i ws actually aiming for a C, which i thought ill get D.LOL. in the end, i gt B! i ws v.happy.thanks to allah. seriously.!THANKS ALLAH!sch end at 11 tday. so met up with siti n arisa. ma gfs!!!!!!talkd like mad, especially siti.SITI, IM SRY IF U R READING THIS, BUT I THINK U R KINDA GREEDY.u cant hv 2 guys at 1 go.hmm.left at ard 5, as arisa hv CCA.yeap. thats basically it.till then-blacklips.Labels: Mr.eye candy(:, some things are better hidden, updates (:
