May Peace Be Upon To You.

why this hv to happen again.?
cont. frm previous entry, she txtd me aft (A) txt me.):
gahh. life's pathetic some times!
i bet she n (A) hs been talking..
*roll eyes*

via sms:

S: hey babe. idk y we're becomin like this. seriously. the msg u sent to me, i ws really taken aback. and, the msg i sent o u b4 u replied me, it wsnt full of anger or wad. but, i ws really damn guilty.thts y i said like tht. but, the reply i get frm u ws? im dumping u?do i look like im dumping u? i ws on the verge to cry when i replied u tht long msg. my friend witness it. but nope,i did nt. i laugh it off coz i dont want it to happen though. is it fair for me getting this treatmnt for the 1 whom i treasured alot? i treasure all ma frns. tk terlintas dlm hati aku nk dump each one of em n this includes u. i know u urselfgt alot of prob. i truly understand tht. me too. i do hv too. but, aku telan sumer. aku sndiri tgh adr class crisis. then our prob came i. idk wads the reason forus to quarrel. i know this, past few days or even wks aku dh tk byk msg or even meet up with u or ama. but dsnt mean i dump u just liketht. i admit, im hvin a fam probat home right nw. class lagi. mane lagi financial prob. krg tgk je aku cm byk duit? but actual fact, i dont. its all savings aku. i hope u cn undersatnd me and dont make any false assumptions. andif aft i smsd u this, ur still mad at me or wad, then i think aku patot sedar diri.im sry once again. and i truly do. tc.

me: mayb, just mayb, i misinterpret all ur msges. anyway, im nt assuming. if u realise, im ASKING. idk what u meant (ur msg) thts y i askd. u verge of crying. me? i freaking cried! im nt givin u any "treatmnts", but u told me u need time to loosen urself up n i respect tht.(nowhr angry, if u assume i m)so m i to b blame? nt sayinng u either.i guess thrs misinterpretation to ma msg to u which results this. *shrug* n i think this, hs nothing gt to do wif me/ur probs. n i dont assume this s quarellin.plus ur nt meetin gup with me/ama hs nothing to do wifthis. nothng. n I DID NOT assume anything. ANYTHING! comparing me wif some1 idk is super unacceptable n out of the pt since i heard some things bout her. "kwn dtg, kwn pegi. i dont mind"-sounds s if u accept me OUT of ur life alr! n gues wad? i MIND if frns leave me! n i did nt say words thts nt u, i ws merely asking (HER NAME), ASKING. n lastly, u said u need some time to loosen up, n im givin tht, to u! ( i cnt believe maself, i did self reflect,gues i treasure our frnship toooooo much ): ) thts the reason for this msg. gah!! tis msg, w/o realisin, migth b harsh, but i guess, i shd let SOME out to settle this. maaf dpints, ko take care.

S:obviously this is some misunderstanding. aku tau ko mrh pt aku. but stillif u said im dumping u? like s in by qn? ko rase2 patot ke on the 1st place u ask me tht qn?when u know tht ill nvr do tht? u know wad makes us like this?due to ur 2nd msg u replied to me. "oh ok. dh biaser. k then" thts all. then u said ur kiddin? r u sure by the way of ur msg u kiddin? then i replied u bck, i said im truly sry bout it. n thr u "askd" me if im dumping u? isit appropriate? yg psl kwn dtg, kwn pegi, at tht time, im hvin a terrible class crisis n urs came it. seriously laa babe, im so tired of all this. dari dulu smpai skrg. aku fikir da ok. dh tkder lagik. adr jgk. do u know hw hurting this is?aku smpi tk blh nanges. sbb aku dh byk nanges dulu.pls laa. psl ni nk gado bsr? fine, if im really wrong,aku nk mintk maaf dari hujong rmbt smpi hujung kaki aku. aku pon manusier. tk lps dari kesilapan.

thinkin:
-im one of her prob?
-r u tellin me ur wrong nw?
-since uve gt sooo many exp with THIS TYPE OF SITU, then solve it then SOLVE IT!!!!
-n r u threatening me to make this big?

me: IT IS a misunderstanding! nt mrh, just freaking disappointd with all the assumings and blamings. at tht pt of time, idk wad u might b thinkin, thus tht qn came bout. n ma msg on "dh biaser"isnt tht a TYPICAL way of being witty? cm on, u hear it everywh! tired of all this.........? *sigh* i knewtis hurt bth of us in any way. isnt y txting each other nw is to settle it? ma opinion, ni bkn gado bsr. its not. gaaaaah! we dont understand each other here. might s well leave it as it is then, gues tis brings us nowhr. tkper beb,tk perlu.. either or, akudh maaf kn ko pn.. im nt sayin tht im nt wrong noe m i a perfect human. maaf dpinta. sigh.

(few sec ltr)
me: lets just settle tis when bth of us cn think rationally. gd night.

then at msn few min aft tht,
S:i dont hv free smses ale, so im here to say things out. im stable enuf to think rationally. okay, i know yg pt oh da biase tu u said it ws a norm thing. but u see, here i m saying sry, txt u pnjg bejeler, u just said tht, i felt damn bloody guilty n thus, i msg u wht i do aft u msg me tht. if u said its a tpical way of being witty? to me its not. if u want, do it on a appropriate timing. dalaa aku tk nk gado. i dont wnt psl ni, kte gado. please. i think we need some times alone.

me: i hv nothing to say. n u putit tht way uh? i aint giv u any treatmnt.

s: n if u think u dont need me s ur frn anymore,aku redha dgn keputusan ko.thts all wht treatmnt ar u tryin to say?

me: n i didnt say tht. y r u putting words into me mouth?

s: i nvr put words in ur mouth.

me: idk. i ws just quoting.. the treatmnt u were refering to in ur msgs.

s: things btw us alr like this.

me: ok great. c? i askd.? u ans. tht settle part of it? aku bengap. so i askd.same goes with the dumping msg.u feel me? alah, tk pe la huh.

s: i tried ma very best to heel things but it dsnt seem to b goin anywhr.the best if u wnt weforgt all this n thts it.

me: i realised the EXACT samt thing. idk idk idk idk ):

s: i guess we just forget those things bhind its very tired ok thinkin abt this tk mcm tk berending.

me: ur choice.............................................................then we shall stop talkin bout it.

s: it takes 2 hand to clap. if i totally forgot bout this, if u dont, things will nt be wrkin also aku seriously nk ckp, da tkde grudge towards u. and tkpernah adr just thts all sad u see.

then i didnt replyd. if i were to reply. this convo will last forever.
idk.
life's like tht.!):

WAD SHD I DO NW? ):

any session of shoutings.
*sigh*

-blacklips

Labels: Friendship, its all in here., some things are better hidden

MaY PEace Be Upon To You.

of all the thing i hd in mind,
i finally decide to share this.
m nw thinking hw the hell imma suppose to solve it.
T.T

situation: a frn (s) and meself.

Me: " salams. nnt blaja? aku igt tau! heh."
(greetings. gonna study ltr? i rememberd!)

S: "oh Fuck! aku lupe nk blg ko! aku adr npss nyer gatherig! and kakak iapr aku dkt rmh! Ya Allah! aku luper! sry2! ): kte blajar nxt wk boley? nnt update lagi. so damn sorry babe. ):"
(i 4gt to tell u, i hv npss gathering an ma sis inlaw is at hm! god i forgt! sry2. cn we study nxt wk? ill update u. so damn sry babe.)

"tk pe,dh biaser. k thennnn"
(its ok, im use to it. okay then)

"i hope you can understand me. aku tgh serba slh skrg. gitu tkpe laa. lain ksli aku tknk janji ngan ko lagi psl nk blaja or wad laa. sry again. tc, bye"
(im feeling guilty right nw. next time, i wont "promise" to study or wadver with you again.)

"asl ko ckp gitu sak? since ko ckp gitu, maaf, i ws jus jk.n it seems like its too much for u. r u dumpin me? oh wells.nvm.gd day frn."
(why u said tht? since u put it tht way, im sry, i ws just kiddin. and it seems like its too much for u. r u dumpin me? oh wells. nvm.gd day frn)

"ya Allah. asal nie? demi Allah! whas the reason for me to dump u? sbb aku buat slh. aku mintk maaf. so,i dont want this to happen again, thts why i said like tht. maybe, u donnoe me too well. yes,sabreena too.so, u also take it to heart. tkper laa. dh mmg gini kan naseb aku. kwn dtg, kwn pergi. i don mind. but please, dont say those words tht is nt me. i dont do things like tht. it hurts me alot when u said tht. tkpe laa. i need some time to loosen myself up nw. and again, ive vr dump my frns n i will nv do it. takecare"
(god! whats up? swear to god! whats the reason for mw to dump u? im wrong, n i apologised. so i dont want this to happen again, thts y i said like tht. mayb u donnoe me too well. yes sabreena too. so u take it to heart. nvm. its ma "luck". frns come n go. i dont mind. but please, dont say the words thts not me. i i dont do things like tht. it hurts me alot when u said tht. nvm. i need some time to loosen myself up nw. and again. ive nvr dump my frns n i will nvr do it. tc")

so?
waddya think?
who's at fault.?

i cried the mmt i read the "i hope u cn understand" part of the msg.
myb im TOOO sensitive. gah!
idk.
shd i feel guilty.?

her last msg is like blaming me.
like comparing me with her "frn" whom she didnt like.(sabreena)
i KNOW im nowhr thr..

so many accusations .(her last msg)
i didnt reply aft tht, kos i switchd off ma fone.
too pissed and sad alr.
*sigh*

idk if i shd tell anyone.

anyway. ma bro told sth tht touches me heart till i thought its like his confession.
-.- i know. but it sounds ttooooooo wierd.
HAHA

wansuey
-blacklips

Labels: Friendship, its all in here., its over.?